


Angst Week

by mysticmylifeisamess_enger



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Character Death, Goodbyes, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memories, Mistakes, Regret, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticmylifeisamess_enger/pseuds/mysticmylifeisamess_enger
Summary: A collection of prompts for Mystic Messenger Angst Week (@mysmeangstweek on tumblr).Almost all of them are based off angsty operatic arias.





	1. V's When I am Laid in Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off of When I am Laid in Earth from Dido and Aeneous with the prompt 'Memories.'

Images that varied in seasons, places, and circumstances decorated the floor of Jihyun's room, though they all centered around what he felt was most important: you. Your voice a soft melody he would only hear in his memories, reminded of it when he looked through those photographs. He held onto them dearly, finding it the only true connection he had to you anymore. They each carried a different emotion and story that was only shared between you two.

The one from your first picnic together, laying in the grass with flowers scattered in your hair and a sundress he helped you pick out. The sun in your face making you seem so much brighter, mid-laugh at something he said. You truly looked happy, and that brought him a sense of peace he hadn’t known before.

Another from a time you considered an inappropriate time to photograph, but he’ll always be thankful he did. Your eyes were swollen and red from crying, though the small curl on the corner of your lip didn’t make this a sad photo. He reminisced about the petty argument you two had before taking this and breaking out the camera as soon as you two made up because he claimed that you looked as beautiful as ever. And he was sure he fell harder for you in that moment.

But his favorite had to be one he took over a year ago of your morning after an intimate night. He could tell it was an early morning from the sleepy look on your face. Your bare face and hair tousled in a way that looked enchanting. It was a look he always said you should wear more often, but you always rebutted. But he always cherished waking up to see it, a certain vulnerability to it, knowing that this was truly a sight for only him. 

His collection was missing a few that he could only hold in his heart, but it was these few that he constantly thought about. But his memory proved to be insufficient as weeks and months went by and he felt as if with every thought, it changed just a little bit. To the point where he couldn’t recognize the person he was trying so hard to look back on. This isn’t the same person from the abundance of pictures he had taken. The smile that outshines the sun felt dimmer until it was just a tiny spark.

He wanted to respect your wish of not remembering you as what you had become in the end. You knew it would mess with the happy memories you made together, weighing him down to remember the hollowed person you became. The photographs didn’t show the weight you lost so quickly, the sunken eyes from sleepless nights, or the vacant look that was constantly on your face. But he would have given anything to get at least one photo of that time because no matter how hard it was to see you endure that, you felt like a stranger in his memories and there was no way to change that.


	2. Saeyoung's Don Giovanni, A Cenar Teco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Such is the end of the evildoer: the death of a sinner always reflects his life”
> 
> This one is based off Don Giovanni, A Cenar Teco from Don Giovanni with the prompt 'Anger.'

A mission he was sent on to infiltrate for information seemed easy enough. All he really had to do was watch for patterns, draw up a calculated plan, and proceed. The genius hacker had these down to a science, especially when he did these so regularly. He wasn’t proud of the things he had to do for these, but he couldn’t deny that he almost had a talent for it. But talents only proved to be so reliable.

‘Quick, swift 707. Success at once!’ quickly became a taunting thought in this moment as he felt his hand pool with blood from clutching at his wound. He didn’t account for the trap that was set up, ready to take him out with a step that he perceived as calculated, but proved to be fatal. 

His body froze in place, the ringing in his ears overwhelming and consuming any other sounds around him. His vision blurred from the tears that threatened to spill. He could only describe the sensation he was feeling as going completely numb, feeling nothing but the stinging of his wound. He wasn’t aware of the way his knees gave out under him, the way he was gasping for air as he felt his insides collapse. He knew this was bound to happen, he just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

His other hand clutched at the cross around his neck, silently begging God that this wasn’t happening, to wake him up from this dream. Though the pain he felt below his rib brought him back to his reality, instead begging to be forgiven for all that he’s done. To forgive him for all his wrong doings, for the things that just weren’t in his control to fix, and to understand that he only did this to live. To live a free life that would someday lead to his brother. His brother who he wanted to protect, and yet he had to abandon.

Then he felt it, the empty feeling that he so desperately tried to shut out for years started to surface. The realization that he was alone, no one to hold his hand or console him in his last few moments. No one that truly knew him or his identity passed the mask of 707 that he wore. He was a ghost to those around him, no proof that he existed.

Once he was gone, that was it. No tears would be shed by loved ones, no funeral held to celebrate the life that didn’t have a trace to it. The true insignificance of his life hadn’t settled with him until this moment, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He could only accept his fate, knowing full well this was his demise.

The slow suffering he felt as he bled out had him choking back tears, the pain finally outweighing the numbness. And yet, he wasn’t thinking about his pain, his thoughts went back to his twin. Openly pleading, begging God to keep him safe, to protect him after he leaves now that he wouldn’t be able to. He asks for Saeran to never have to endure this type of pain, that he could be going through enough torment for the both of them.

His body going slack, vision slowly leaving as his eyes shut on their own. The peace he was supposed to be feeling at this time as his senses were fading didn’t seem to happen. Instead, he felt an anger bubbling up. He couldn’t quite place why, but he suspected it was a mix of the injustice he was going through, no true answer as to how the only thing he treasured was doing, or at himself for not being as careful. He only had himself to blame for these, thinking of all the possible outcomes had he done it slightly different.

But the most anger he felt towards was whoever could have prevented this. He had always thought that someday, someone would be able to pull him out of this agent life. Maybe it could have been Saeran once they reunite, or V who had got him here in the first place. Or maybe it was someone he hadn’t met yet. Someone who could have changed his outlook on life and made him want to be better. And he cursed himself and God for not meeting them sooner.


	3. Saeran's Prendi Quest'e L'immagine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off Prendi Quest'e L'immagine from La Traviata with the prompt 'Mistakes.'

He felt foolish. Foolish to think that he could live a happy life with you so easily. So foolish to think that anything good could happen to him without it getting ripped from him instantly. And foolish to have not seen this coming.

‘I could have prevented this, I could have stopped this from happening,’ were the only thoughts running through his mind as he held you close, choking back tears so you wouldn’t worry. He didn’t want that to be your last image of him, he wanted to be strong in this moment for you since it was all he could do, all he could hope to be.

“MC, I’m so sorry,” was all he could bring himself to repeat, knowing this was all his fault.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you said, a weak and forced smile spreading on your face as tears stained your cheeks.

“Please don’t say that,” he half-whispered, feeling his own tears pool and blur his vision.

“But I really am, and I’m sorry that we didn’t have enough time together.”

Those were the words that brought him to the reality unfolding in front of him. His mind couldn’t wrap around losing you, and yet here you two were, piecing together the final words you’d say to each other.

He wondered why God would forsake him like this, take you away when he had nothing and no one. Why he had spent so many years suffering and once he finally found something that brought him pure joy and light into his dim life, it had to get taken away from him so soon. And he wondered whether there was a karmic reason to all of this, if all the wrong he had done had finally caught up.

Saeran watched as the life slowly drained from your eyes, forming tears in his own. The feeling of all your weight against his had finally made him break, sobbing as he clutched onto your lifeless form, not wanting to ever let go.


	4. Zen's Ach Ich Fuhl's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off Ach Ich Fuhls from The Magic Flute with the 'Free Day' prompt so I chose Regret.

“I’m really happy for you, MC, but I could have made you happier,” he said to the phone pressed against his ear only hear a small laugh on the other end.

“I’m sure you could have,” you replied, though he could tell those were empty words. He knew you were much happier with your choice, no second thought to it.

“I’ll let you go, Zen,” you continued, “have a good night.”

“Goodnight, MC,” he sighed, hearing the line cut at a beep though the phone stayed against his face.

His chest felt heavy by the end of each call. His head flooded with thoughts and wishful thinking. He’d think about the many scenarios that would happen if he were in the same room during these calls. He could easily sneak up on you while you were on the phone and just embrace you from behind, holding you as close as he could and breathing in your scent. He’d be the only one to press kisses against your neck and tell you how much you meant to him.

But these thoughts only took a toll on him with every time you talked to him, thinking about how he couldn’t do any of that because you weren’t his. The lips he so desperately wanted to press against with his own were already on someone else. The eyes he could easily get lost in and stare at with all the love in the world didn’t look back at him with the same intent.

And what really added to his hurt was that he couldn’t get mad at the person who swept you off your feet and away from him. Not when it was someone he was so close with, someone in the RFA who he knew needed you more than he did. He couldn’t blame them for falling for someone like you, especially since he knew the feeling.

But he wonders what would have happened if he confessed to you sooner. If he hadn’t waited those first five days to be sure only for you to choose someone else. Because he was so sure of how much he loved you from his first day meeting you, and it pained him to let that bit of unsurety stop him. And now all he could do was watch with a forced smile on his face as someone else made you happy.


	5. Jumin's La Vie En Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This last one is based off La Vie En Rose, which isn't an aria and not very sad, but I had to make it sad, and with the prompt of 'Goodbye.'
> 
> But that’s the thing about rose-colored glasses, all those red flags just looked like regular flags.

It was as if the man you had fell in love with had changed. This man who once found it so hard to leave for work when he saw your sleeping form now throws himself into it to just avoid you. The laugh he once found so captivating and pure started to feel more like a pierce to his ears.

He started getting cold and distant, making you wonder what you could have done to earn such treatment, but it seemed like all the red flags were right in front of you. He found more value in his work than he did in your presence, constantly finding excuses to return to the office. He went back to his ways of relying more on Elizabeth than you. And he stopped looking at you with the same love and intensity he once did, averting his gaze whenever he was near you.

You expected the honeymoon phase to be over soon, but you didn’t expect it to completely dissipate your feelings for each other. The memories of your relationship from early on started to sting the more you looked back on it. Date nights that were filled with affectionate words and open, loving gazes were now replaced with constant anger bubbling into heated arguments that seemed to go on for hours. Nights where you only wanted to hold him close and never let go were long gone, as each passing night you slept one inch further from each other until it became sleeping in the guest bedroom. The ice may have melted, but he started building a wall between you two and you couldn’t take it anymore.

You felt your will to continue deteriorating. The emotional toll was starting to become too much. With every word you two threw at each other, you started to feel less of that love you two once had and more resentment towards each other. The exhaustion becoming unbearable as you stopped yelling, pausing to find yourself locked with a stone-cold gaze.

“When did it become this difficult?” you asked, tired and worn-down voice replacing the previous loud and irritated one. He could only stare in shock, not expecting you to get so quiet or vulnerable. He quickly realized that he finally got to your breaking point, the vacant expression on your face saying everything.

“I don’t know,” he replied, calmly. He felt the tension he didn’t know he was holding onto release, slowly softening as he saw an ache growing in your eyes.

“Do you still love me?” you asked,

“I’m not sure. Do you still love me?”

“I don’t know.”

A silence fell between you two, leaving to process what had just been said. All sorts of thoughts consuming you, the pit in your stomach seeming to drop once you realized the words that had been said, leaving you with one thought that you had to say out loud.

“Then why are we still together?” you asked, finally meeting his gaze to see it turn from being taken aback to pensive.

“Jumin, I don’t want to end this,” you said, letting your gaze fall to the floor, “but I think it has to.”

There it was, the words he knew he would hear one day. The words he thought he wanted to hear, but realized he didn’t once they were said. But it was too late to take it back, to undo the actions that made you feel so unloved, to distance himself so harshly. Yet, he knew the outcome wouldn’t have changed, this was bound to happen one way or another.

“MC, maybe we have to spend some time apart,” he said.

“But do you think that will really make it better?”

He knew you had a point. He knew this relationship was hurting you, and he didn’t want that anymore. But he didn’t your last memory together to be a messy fight.

“Then can I propose one last dance?” he asked.

“What?”

“I know it won’t fix anything, but before you go, can we have one last dance?”

He held out his hand, an invitation to come closer, his eyes almost begging for you to take it. And as you hesitantly did, he reached to turn on the speaker behind him, playing a song you two would almost always dance to.

 _Hold me close and hold me fast,_  
The magic spell you cast,  
This is La Vie En Rose.

As he held you close, the memories started hit him like a wave. All those times before when you two were in this same position, yet so much happier. Those times when he held you and it felt like nothing could go wrong. Swaying left to right in pure bliss.

 _When you kiss me heaven sighs,_  
And though I close my eyes,  
I see La Vie En Rose.

But this time it was so different. He held onto you tighter, closer than he had before. You could feel how desperate he was in making this last, his head burying in your shoulder to take in your scent one last time. It made you wonder where this Jumin had been.

 _When you press me to your heart,_  
I’m in a world apart,  
A world where roses bloom.  
And when you speak angels sing from above,  
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs.

The harsh reality was that you two didn’t work. This current feeling of love and devotion to you was going to leave once you let go, arguments and anger taking it’s place. But you felt safe in this moment. This moment of that you wish you could be in forever, and it almost made you want to give this another shot, yet you knew you shouldn’t.

 _Give your heart and soul to me,_  
And life will always be  
La Vie En Rose.

He could feel his threads tangle a little more with every sway, knowing how complicated he was going to become once again when you let go. You may have unraveled them, but he didn’t think you’d make it worse with your absence. He thought this was what he wanted, but he didn’t want this song to end, he didn’t want to have to see you walk out of his life.

And once you had finally pulled away, a dance that seemed so long yet ended too soon, he felt empty. The way your hand stayed in his, lingering in his touch, until you had pulled back enough to let go made him want to pull you back to him. But he fought the urge as he saw you walk away, leaving him alone in his penthouse.

His penthouse that now felt haunted. Not by you, but by himself. Haunted by the person he became in your presence that drove you away. Haunted by the memories of you two that made it seem much simpler than it really was. And haunted by the devastating way you two had to say goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Commission info in my bio ^^


End file.
